Everyone’s personality changes as they grow up. By the time they become adults, their personality is mostly set, and further changes may be minimal.

Some people naturally shine, fearless in everything they do, always pursuing their dreams as if they are a star among many. Their innate confidence usually stems from the love and acceptance they receive from their family.

Parental upbringing often has a lifelong impact on children, with the root of insecurity usually traced back to the family. It confirms the saying, “Some spend a lifetime healing from their childhood, while others heal a lifetime from their childhood.”

I watched the neighbor’s kids grow up. Both parents had low education levels and worked in a factory. The dad was timid, not good with words, rarely communicated with the kids, and loved playing cards.

The mother was dominant, kept the house in order, made most decisions, and always scolded the dad for going out to play cards.

Their family lived frugally, so the kids did not have the same luxuries as others.

I remember when the kids visited our house when they were young. They sat stiffly, eyes filled with caution, as their mom constantly reminded them not to touch anything as they couldn’t afford to pay for it if it broke.

I could tell the kid was curious about our house, so I reassured him that it was okay to play with whatever he liked, which seemed to relax him a bit.

While we adults were chatting, we accidentally broke a cheap vase the kid wanted to put his toy car on. His mom immediately scolded and punished him, making us feel awkward.

We told them it was not valuable, the kid was young, and it was no big deal.

The dad stayed silent, clearly not wanting to get involved, fearing his wife’s reaction. They left, apologizing to us repeatedly, and never came back since.

I later saw them on the street a few times. The little boy looked worried, not standing straight, slightly hunched.

They noticed me, the parents awkwardly greeted me, and the boy immediately lowered his head, probably reminded of that unpleasant afternoon.

This was clearly a dysfunctional family. The husband had no say, and the wife was dominant, leaving the child caught between them, enduring his mother’s control. A democratic and harmonious family should allow everyone to express their opinions.

As I interacted with many clients who sometimes brought their kids along, I noticed that each child had a different personality, influenced by their family environment.

Confidence and insecurity are mutually influential in families. Whether adults or children, their inner selves are revealed through their actions.

Usually, insecure people are sensitive. A casual remark can make them overthink if it was about them.

They tend to internalize everything, living in their world, overly cautious of the outside world, fearing judgment.

Insecure individuals care a lot about others’ opinions. For example, they fear criticism at work or being laughed at for their clothes. They take uneaten food as a personal rejection.

Some less privileged children fear revealing their family’s situation and avoid making friends.

They struggle with criticism, unable to accept it, often refusing to participate.

Insecure people often share a common trait: pleasing everyone, seeking approval from all, and struggling to accept disapproval.

If someone shows dislike towards them, they deflate like a balloon. They fear others discovering their insecurity, dreading rejection.

Even when unhappy, they keep it to themselves, swallowing their grievances, hiding their tears, not letting others notice their struggles.

Each of us has our strengths. It’s unnecessary to sacrifice our happiness to please others. Confidence comes from within.

In both personal and professional life, we should identify our strengths, use them to achieve success, and let others recognize our qualities naturally.