Understanding the Emotional Needs and Expectations in Different Relationship Roles

After getting married, many women can’t understand why men used to cherish and adore them before marriage, but become indifferent and stop cherishing and loving them after marriage.

Actually, it’s not that men have changed, but rather the mindset of women has changed.

Many women are unaware that when they are in love, they consider the man’s feelings, and naturally, the man will cherish them. But after marriage, some women become unreasonable and nagging. In this case, how could a man still cherish you? He might even become more disdainful.

Some women used to pay attention to their appearance and dress before marriage, striving for perfection in everything. But after marriage, they no longer care, becoming sloppy and casual. When men see this change, they naturally change as well.

Think about how you were when you were a man’s lover and how you are as his wife, and you should understand the difference.

The biggest differences between lovers and wives boil down to these three points, and women must understand.

1 Appearance and Dressing

When you are a “lover,” the most important thing, of course, is to be romantic and perfect when being in love with a man.

As a lover, when you are with a man, you pay very close attention to your attire and appearance, striving for perfection in every detail, fearing that the man will see any flaws.

At this stage, women invest a lot of time and money in their appearance, just to receive the man’s admiration and praise, knowing that with these, they have the man’s heart, his money, and even his time. Women think about how to captivate the man’s heart and make him fall for them.

When a woman becomes a wife and spends time with the man every day, she may initially pay attention to her appearance, fearing that the man might change his heart. However, as time goes by, women become lazy and care less. They constantly reassure themselves that if the man loves them, he won’t care about their appearance. Some women, because of this, end up losing their happiness to their “lover” in the end.

2 Focus on the Present vs. Considering the Future

When men and women are in love, they always think about how to be happy every day, how to make the other person love them more and care for them.

Their daily focus is on how to be happier, so they naturally only care about present matters and don’t think too far ahead.

As a wife, things are different. In life, you have to deal with various issues, not only to maintain the relationship with your husband but also to handle relationships with in-laws, daily chores, and even education.

All of this is not easy for women. At this point, women can’t just care about present joys but also have to consider the future of the family.

This is also why men prefer being with a “lover” and find the role of a wife too troublesome. It’s because being with a wife involves facing more matters and greater pressure, while being with a wife is simpler, just focusing on romance.

3 Spending Money vs. Saving Money

When men are with their lovers, they always think about how to make them happier, how to bring them more joy.

At this time, men take women out to dinner, give them flowers, and buy exquisite gifts just to see their lover smile.

As lovers, they are not affected by the trivialities of life and don’t have to face too much pressure. When with men, they naturally enjoy the happiness of men spending money on them and don’t worry about the man’s financial situation.

In a way, lovers are selfish, only considering their own feelings. They don’t care too much about things unrelated to them.

On the other hand, for wives, every penny spent by the man affects the entire family. If a man buys a gift for his wife, she will not only be happy but also feel sorry for the money spent. She would even blame the man for spending money recklessly. The happiness is only temporary, and afterward, she will live more frugally, effectively buying happiness for herself.

Over time, women form a mindset that their happiness is based on the entire family, so they don’t need the man to spend money on them separately but rather focus on saving money.

Men like being with lovers and dislike the role of a wife because of the feelings of sacrifice.

When men spend money on their lovers and make them happy, the lovers become more gentle towards the men. For men, this is the reward for their efforts. In the man’s mind, this kind of reward is greater than their own efforts.

However, when with wives, every day they face the drudgery of life, how to make money, how to save money, and not how to spend money.

There is also the aspect of how to contribute to the family and make the family happier, often neglecting the maintenance of the relationship between spouses.

These differences between lovers and wives are something that women should understand. You will then know why men change drastically after marriage and no longer cherish you as they did before.

Sometimes, women can set aside their role as a wife and choose to interact with men as their lover. Perhaps they will get a different result.

When men have a fresh feeling, are willing to sacrifice for you, and can receive emotional rewards, they will naturally continue to love and cherish you as before.