Leo Tolstoy once said, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Sometimes, due to living circumstances, lending money to relatives is a very normal thing to do. However, lending money is a matter of emotions, and not lending money is a matter of principle. Not every relative is worth our effort.

No matter how rich you are, don’t lend money to these three kinds of relatives, or you’ll regret it.

A reader recently sent me a letter, and here’s what it said:

I’m the only child in my family. Due to family reasons, I started working outside at a very young age. My salary wasn’t high, and after deducting my living expenses, I still had to send money back to my parents.

Later, through my own efforts, I opened a physical store, and my living conditions improved significantly. What I want most in life is to let my parents live a good life and enjoy their old age. Last year, I took some money to renovate my parents’ old house. During that time, many envious relatives came to me with gossip, saying that I, a girl, made my money in an illegitimate way.

Then, my uncle came to borrow money from my parents, asking for 100,000 yuan. He said, “The kids need to go to school, and we’re facing financial difficulties, so I won’t bother you.”

Three years ago, my uncle got divorced and started living alone with his kids. His life wasn’t easy, and we knew that. However, the reason for his divorce was his gambling habit, and even after the divorce, he still couldn’t change this habit.

My parents were afraid that the money would be used for gambling, so they were hesitant. Later, my uncle came to ask me for the money, and I lent him 50,000 yuan. Who knew that my kindness would be repaid with his betrayal?

He didn’t use the money for his kids’ education; instead, he gambled it away. Now, he won’t even pay me back. Although I don’t care about the 50,000 yuan, I feel that my uncle’s actions have completely betrayed my trust.

After hearing his story, perhaps everyone will have a sense of empathy. Some relatives are worth trusting, while others will only betray our trust.

No matter how rich you are, don’t lend money to these three kinds of relatives.

The Ungrateful

Zhou Le once said, “Gratitude is spiritual health.”

Everyone’s character is different, which means that even among relatives, not everyone is worth our effort. When facing ungrateful people, we should focus on ourselves and not over-accommodate them. Only then can we avoid getting hurt.

The saying goes, “A drop of kindness should be repaid with a fountain of gratitude.” When someone helps us, we should remember their kindness and repay them when we’re capable. However, ungrateful people won’t remember our kindness and will only prioritize their own interests. In interactions with them, we should learn to stay away.

Those Who Speak Ill of Others

Everyone will encounter various difficulties in life, and everyone will have their low points. When you’re facing difficulties, few people will stand up to help you. Some people not only won’t help but will also speak ill of you.

People like this have a malicious heart and won’t remember your kindness. When interacting with them, we should learn to stay away early on.

Those who speak ill of others only care about their own interests and won’t consider others. Even if you’ve helped them, they’ll eventually forget.

The Unfilial

Lu Xun once said, “The unfilial are the most despicable people in the world.”

The saying goes, “Filial piety is the root of all virtues.” A person who understands filial piety must have a heart full of gratitude. Interacting with such people is the most valuable. Filial piety is the ultimate manifestation of a person’s character. If someone can’t even fulfill their basic filial duties, how can they excel in other areas?

For each of us, life is fair, but we can decide who to interact with. Unfilial people are inherently toxic, and interacting with them will only bring harm.

Everyone will face difficulties in life. When others are facing difficulties, we should lend a helping hand. However, no matter how rich you are, don’t lend money to these three kinds of relatives, or you’ll regret it. In the end, you won’t get their gratitude, but instead, they’ll harbor resentment towards you. This is what we call “throwing good money after bad.” Some people don’t know how to be grateful, and instead, will blame you for your kindness. When you encounter such people, it’s best to stay away.