In life, people encounter many setbacks and trials, and sometimes they may feel down and out.

When feeling down and out, people often seek shortcuts, which is a common tendency for many.

However, as TV host Dong Qing once said: “Never lose hope at any time, but always stay clear-headed.”

Some things can be assisted by others, but some things cannot. There are some “free meals” in life that can be accepted, but there are also some that should be avoided.

Hoping to Marry a Wealthy Woman to Change Fate

A few days ago, a good friend of my younger brother visited our house.

He recently went bankrupt, leading to a difficult life with no food to eat, so he came to our place for meals.

When discussing future plans, my brother’s friend said, “Do you know any wealthy families around here? Introduce me to an only child.”

Some women hope to change their fate through marriage, believing it’s a second chance at life. Similarly, some men also hope to marry a wealthy wife to change their own fate.

But a marriage based on such calculations, how much happiness can it bring? Marriage is about mutual affection, not just a strategic move to marry into wealth.

Some men, when down and out, always seek an only child as a girlfriend, hoping for wealth in her family. But think about it, such men are simply not worthy of marriage, let alone marrying into wealth.

If a man, in his low point, hopes to marry a wealthy woman to change his fate, this is not the way to go. Relying on oneself is the best, especially for a man. Self-reliance will attract outstanding women, not trying to find a wealthy woman to make himself outstanding.

A man must make himself wealthier than the woman, in order to have dignity at home and in marriage, and to establish his own place in the family.

Asking Women to Buy Things for Themselves

A few years ago, a close friend tearfully told me, “My boyfriend always asks me to buy things for him. I’m almost bankrupt now. My parents want us to break up, but only I know it’s because he’s down and out, that’s why he asks me to buy so many things for him.”

In reality, no matter how down and out a man is, he should not keep asking a woman to buy things for him. If a man truly cares for a woman, he wouldn’t be willing to spend her hard-earned money.

Perhaps my friend’s parents wanted her to break up with her boyfriend not because he was broke or spending her money, but because they saw no hope in him.

Many self-made individuals started with nothing and became very wealthy. There’s an old saying: “As long as there are mountains, there will be firewood.”

Even if a man is down and out, as long as he is still healthy and has self-reliance, a determined man will start from scratch and work hard, not ask for things from a woman.

Lack of Initiative, No Goals, and Dependence

A woman without initiative may be looked down upon by men, but a man without initiative will be looked down upon by everyone. Sometimes, women seek help from their men, but if a man lacks initiative and independence, relying on women for ideas, it’s essentially freeloading.

Everyone admires a woman with initiative, and many women admire a man with initiative. A woman with initiative is independent in her thoughts and has self-respect, while a man with initiative provides a sense of security for women when facing problems at home or elsewhere. This security is highly valued by women, so a man with initiative is attractive.

When a man or woman is down and out, having independent thoughts is crucial. Only with independent thoughts can one help themselves, as some things can only be achieved through self-reliance.

When Jack Ma started his business, he faced many hardships and initially didn’t make money. It was the lowest point in his life. But he persisted with his own views and initiative, despite many people advising him to give up.

Imagine if Jack Ma had listened to others, would he be as wealthy now? He might have given up on his career long ago, and we wouldn’t even know who Jack Ma is today.

When feeling down and out, having independent thoughts can save oneself. Behavior is supported by thoughts, so mature thoughts lead to correct actions.

As the saying goes, “Failure is the mother of success.” Failure is not scary, as lessons can be learned from it for greater success. However, if a person fails and relies on “free meals” during their low point, they are destined to achieve nothing.

People often say, “Even when poor, one’s ambition should not be poor.” Even in hard times, one must maintain self-respect, have direction, and goals, in order to have a better life and future.